100 Moments
by imSiriuslyLupin4you
Summary: 100 moments in the life of the Marauders. No pairings. These are short snippets based on my real experiences. Enjoy.
1. Thought I saw Jesus

**This will be a series of very short things, based on my real experiences. Not even long enough to be called drabbles. Here is the first chapter. No, the characters are not mine.**

Dumbledore was giving a speech, at the end of yet another magnificent feast, when suddenly there was a loud gasp from the Gryffindor table. Everyone in the great hall turned to stare at the noisy offender.

"Mister Black, do you have something to share with us?" Professor Dumbledore looked down at the third year.

Sirius shook his head. "No. I just thought I saw Jesus."

**Five Reveiws please.**


	2. Harder Then it Needs To Be

"Hey Moony, can I borrow your potions notes?"

"Sure." Remus struggled out of his bed and fell to the floor in a heap. The whole process took about five minutes. Brushing his robes off, he shook his head. "That was harder then it needed to be."

Sirius snorted. "Yeah, it was."


	3. Fingers

**(WARNING: This one contains a dirty joke. So this chapter is a 'T')**

"Hey, Remus!" Sirius beckoned Remus forward with a crooked finger.

"Yeah, Pads?" Remus wandered over to where Sirius was sitting.

Sirius smirked. "Do you always come when I finger you?"

Remus blinked. "I don't get it."

Sirius sighed and rolled his eyes. "Never mind."

_(Five minutes later)_

"_Ohhhh_…. Pads, that's disgusting!"


	4. Trippin'

"Hey James!" Sirius was running toward his best friend when he suddenly tripped over his own two feet, landing painfully on his stomach. "Hi."

"Umm, hi…"


	5. The Door

James Potter was walking leisurely down the stairs on his way to the Great Hall for lunch when a tawny blur streaked past him and slammed into the wooden doors in front of him.

Remus stumbled back and glared at James. "You did not see that."

James shrugged. "Whatever, Moony."


	6. Small Malnourished Male Children

**(Yes, I know that this is supposed to be 100 moments in the life of the **_**Marauders**_**, but this moment wouldn't really work with them, unless they were cross dressers. Hmm, sounds promising. Perhaps I'll use that in a later fic… Tell me what you think about that idea.)**

Lily Evans, and her older sister Petunia Evens were in a small muggle lingerie shop in London, looking at frilly under things that they really couldn't afford and weren't brave enough to ever wear.

"I like this one." Lily announced, holding up a sheer silk slip. She started to walk towards the dressing rooms. "Tell me what you think."

A few moments later Lily emerged. "So?"

Petunia shrugged. "It's a bit too baggy in the chest area, but besides that it's nice."

Lily sighed. "Everything's too baggy in the chest area. I've seen small malnourished male children with more then a bosom then I do."

Petunia shook her head. "Lils, you're over-exaggerating."

Lily raised her eyebrow and pointed at a picture of a starving child in Africa that was in the window.

There was a long awkward silence. Then…

"Well at least you have hips…"


	7. Sexy Can I?

**(Yes, I know the song hadn't come out yet. Bear with me, it's fanfiction.)**

James Potter was lounging in the Common room, when a unusually hyper lycanthrope bounced into the room. Upon seeing James, Remus skipped (yes skipped) over to the bespectacled boy and straddled him.

"Sexy, can I?"

James blinked in shock. First Remus had _skipped_ (yes skipped) and then straddled him, and now was asking him inappropriate questions. "…What…?"

Remus sighed and rolled his eyes. "That's not the right answer." He looked around the room, and upon spotting someone he grinned. "Hey, Marlene!"

"Hmmm?" Marlene McKinnon barely looked up from her magazine.

"Sexy, can I?"

"You can do whatever you want to me Lupin, as long as I don't have to get up off of this chair."


	8. Awake

**(I would like to take this moment to thank ****cemaciver****for replying to every one of these chapters. It's good to know that at least **_**someone**_** likes your work. This is the first time I've ever done anything like this, so… thanks cemaciver. 3)**

He was stuck. James was stuck, and he couldn't get out. He was drowning in a black ocean, and he knew it was a dream, but he _could not wake up._ He thrashed in the water, and just when he was about go under for the final time someone pulled him out.

With a gasp he woke up. Sirius was kneeling in front of him frowning.

"Prongs, you okay?"

Unable to speak quite yet, James shook his head. He felt tears on his cheeks. "I-I… was drowning…. But I knew it was a dream… but I… I…. I couldn't wake up…. I couldn't…." James started to sob. "I couldn't breath…. And … and… and…"

"Shhh." Sirius wrapped his arms awkwardly around James. "You're awake now."

**(Well that was less cheerful then I planned… well, hoped you enjoyed it, despite the mild angst.)**


	9. Digging Deeper

**(I realized that I hadn't mentioned Peter, like, at all yet. So, he's one of the main people in this chapter…. What I'm about to write happened to me like, two days ago. It was traumatizing. I'm putting Peter in the same situation I was in. He deserves to be traumatized.)**

"She's gorgeous, isn't she, Wormy?" James sighed, staring at on Lily Evans.

"Yeah." Peter agreed. James gave him a sharp look. "I meant she's not. Totally not gorgeous."

James raised his eyebrow. "Wormy, are you calling the love of my life, dare I say it…. ugly?"

"No-oo." Peter shook his head. "No! Lily's really pretty! … I mean in a really unattractive way. Not that she isn't of course. She's really hot! But not like that! I'm not attracted to her in any way, shape or form. Although she does have a really nice one… but not that nice!" Peter glanced at James and sighed. "I'm digging myself into a deeper hole aren't I?"

James nodded. "Yup."

Peter shook his head. "Just forget I said anything."


	10. Sandwich

One thing that many people did not know about Remus Lupin was that he gave very good massages. A talent which James Potter and Sirius Black took advantage of frequently, especially after a difficult Quidditch practice.

At this very moment, Remus was straddling Sirius' back attempting to unknot his stiff muscles. Suddenly Remus smirked. James looked at him in interest. Remus rarely smirked, and when he did it meant that he was planning something. Their eyes met and Remus winked.

Leaning down he let his lips brush Sirius' ear. Sirius stiffened. What on earth was Moony doing?

"I want you…" Remus whispered seductively.

Sirius was suddenly very uncomfortable. "Um… Remus? I like girls, so-"

"To get me a sandwich."

Sirius blinked while James tried to stifle his laughter. "Wait, what?"

"I want you… to get me a sandwich."

James fell off his bed, now laughing to hard at Sirius expression to stay upright.


	11. Books

**(Yes, yes I know it's been a while, but I have a valid excuse! Really! Okay so I got a new computer *applause * but there was no internet! My dog ate it.)**

Sirius Black and James Potter hated to read. So every year for Christmas and their birthdays, Remus Lupin bought them books. James would at least skim the back and maybe the first couple of chapters, but he would never actually READ the book. Sirius wouldn't even read the back. But Remus was determined. It was his life goal to get his friends to read at least ONE book that wasn't for school.


	12. It's Frozen!

Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, James Potter and Sirius Black laughed among themselves as they walked outside on the school grounds. It had snowed the night before and everything was white and sparkly and beautiful. Fat snowflakes drifted to the ground and stuck to the Marauders hair.

They were walking in the general direction of the Black Lake when Sirius shouted 'Hey, look! Ice!" And ran forward towards the wide expanse of ice that was the frozen lake. As soon as Sirius' feet hit the solid water, they slipped from underneath him and he landed heavily on his bum. "….Ow….."

The other three Marauders hurried over to Sirius.

"Pads, are you okay?" Remus looked worried.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Sirius grunted, and he held out his hand. "Hey Prongs, help me up will you Mate?"

James helped Sirius to his feet, and then joined Peter and Remus at staring at the bottom shaped indentation in the ice.

"Well, will you look at that?" James whistled.

Remus smirked. "What did you have for breakfast, Pads? Cement?"

"Did you guys see this ice?" Peter gushed. "It's, like, _frozen_!"


	13. You got what I need

History of Magic. The most boring of all classes. The Gryffindor and Ravenclaw fifth years attempted to catch up on some very well deserved sleep, but the desks, unfortunately, were very hard and uncomfortable.

Professor Binns droned on and on about witch burnings, and Salem, and Muggles while his students struggled to stay awake.

Suddenly, there was a loud clap. Everyone except Professor Binns jumped, and turned to stare at the four Gryffindors at the back of the class room.

"_Oh Baby, you,_" James Potter sang loudly and badly, getting on his knees in front of Lily Evans. "_You got what I nee-ee-eed_!" James grabbed both of Lily's hands with both of his. "_But you say we are just friends! Yeah you say we are just friends…_!" James took a deep breath, and then looked up at Lily. "You know I can't remember the rest of the song…."

**(Yes, yes, I know the song hadn't actually come out yet. And I know I said no pairings, but I ALSO said that these were all based on my real experiences, and this happened to a friend of mine. She started singing to this guy she liked. He called her a freak and started spreading a rumour that she had sex with her ****Chihuahua…****…) **


	14. Rhyme

**SORRY! Sorry, sorry, soorrryyy! I have no excuse for this being so late… Sorry.**

Sirius Black and James Potter were sitting in the dormitory, taking a break from 'packing'. It was their second year at Hogwarts, and Sirius' first time visiting James' family. sure, he'd _met_ them before, but he had never spent more that five minutes in their presence in the past.

At the current moment, Sirius was fiddling with a hole in his sock. "Where did you say your parents lived again?"

"I didn't." James yawned. "Our house is in Godric's Hollow."

Sirius blinked. "Godric's Hollow? Hey! That rhymes!" Sirius beamed, as James stared at him in disbelief. Then slowly, the happy look slid off of Sirius' face and was replaced with a look of confusion. "Wait… no it _doesn't_…"

**Yes, this actually happened to a friend of mine. Except it wasn't Godric's Hollow. It was Golden Corral. **


	15. Turkish Delights

Sirius Black loved Turkish Delight. Why? Because they were delightful and Turkish, which, in Sirius' opinion, was the best excuse for loving the delightful Turkish Delights from Turkey.

He loved Turkish Delights SO much in fact, that he _insisted _on bringing a box of the powdered sugar coated deliciousness with him to the Potter residence over the Christmas Holidays.

On the night before Christmas Eve, James and Sirius could be found in James' room listening to a Quidditch game on the Wireless. James had a bowl of popcorn in his lap, and Sirius had a box of Turkish Delights in his.

"Hey Seers," James said absently. "Do you think that you could hand me-"

"NOOOO!" Sirius screamed and scrambled away from James, clutching the box of Turkish Delights to his chest, and spilling powdered sugar everywhere. "It's MINE! You CANT have ANY! They're MY Turkish Delights! They're MY preeeeccciiiiooouusssssss Turkish Delights. MY prrreeeccciiiooouuussss… …"

James shifted away from Sirius, looking nervous. "I-I just wanted the blanket."


	16. Dream On!

**Sorry that this is so late! I was just uninspired. When this happened my brother threw a shoe at me. It hurt.**

**Aerosmith owns the song.**

"Yeah, sing with me, sing for the year! Sing for the laugh, sing for the tear! Sing with me, if it's just for today, maybe tomorrow, the good Lord will take you away! Dream on! Dream on! Dream on! Dream until the dream come true! Dream on! Dream on! Dream on! Dream until your dream comes true! Dream on! Dream on! Dream on! Dream on! Dream on! Dream on! Dream on-"

"How long do you think he'll keep singing?"

"I dunno. He's been at it for two hours so..."

"Dream on! Dream on! Dream on! Dream on! Dream on-"

"I wanna sleeeep! Prongs, make him stoooop!"

"I _tried_. Wormtail, tell him to shut up."

"_What? I can't hear you! I'm wearing earplugs_!"

"DREAM ON! DREAM ON! DREAM ON! DREAM ON! _DREAM ON! DREAM ON! DREAM ON! DREAM ON! DREAM__-_"

"MOONY! SHUT _**UP**_!"

"…Well there's no need to throw things…"


	17. Chamomile

**The story of my life… my vocabulary is off the charts but I can't pronounce THIS word… **

"Hey, Remus… how are you feeling?"

Remus smiled up at Peter. "Fine. Where are Sirius and James?"

Peter shrugged and grinned. "Probably detention. Where else would they be on a Friday night?"

Remus started to laugh, but instantly regretted it when his side was stabbed with pain.

"Last night was bad, wasn't it?" Peter asked, and when Remus nodded he grimaced in sympathy. He had no idea how painful it was to transform, but he had a really bad hangnail once. "Do you want me to get you something? Like tea… or maybe a ham sandwich?"

Remus smiled softly. "Some tea would be great."

"Are you in the mood for any particular type?"

"Oooh, yes!" Remus grinned excitedly. "I would like some cami… chemo- Charmander err izard. Camoingo-goingomeelie cmmmomilomiliomiliomiliobama Cameroon…"

Peter watched Remus stutter with a confused expression on his face. "Um… Moony? Remus? Do you by any chance mean 'chamomile'?"

Remus stopped muttering and smiled. "Yes I did! And I would like it with some lemon and five scoo- no. _Six_ scoops of sugar."

Peter left to get the tea shaking his head. He just couldn't comprehend how someone who got straight O's could not pronounce a simple word like Camel meal.

**Oh, and before you ask, yes this really did happen. I'm serious. Did anyone by any chance notice the song reference I stuck in here?**


	18. Cardigans

**This just happened not ten minutes ago. And now I'm in my room laughing my head off. **

Peter Pettigrew sat at his kitchen table and watched his parents argue. They didn't argue often, but when they did they argued about the strangest things. Once it was the definition of some word, and another time it was about the fairness of a _certain_ professor. *_Cough_ * Slughorn *_Cough_ *. Now it was the meaning of the word 'Cardigan'.

"Peter!" Mr. Pettigrew snapped. "What is a Cardigan?"

Peter shifted nervously in his seat. "I dunno… isn't it, like, a sweater with buttons or something?"

"Exactly! What did I tell you, Marie?"

"You're _both _wrong! A Cardigan is a sweater that can be buttoned, zipped _or_ tied…"

The argument continued on this note for several moments and so Peter decided to wait it out in his room. As he crept up the stairs, his mother's shill voice reached his ears.

"_I_ am in RETAIL!"


	19. Birthday

**Guess What? IT'S MY BIRTHDAY TOMORROW! So, here's what happened like two years ago on my last birthday. Don't worry. It's funny.**

For James and Sirius, something very important was missing from Transfiguration class. That something was Remus Lupin. For _some_ unknown reason he wasn't in his normal seat. In fact, he wasn't even_ in _the classroom. About twenty minutes into the lesson, the door opened and Remus walked in.

"You're late." Professor McGonagall said, narrowing her eyes slightly at Remus.

"Sorry." Remus shrugged.

"You _do_ realize that I'll have to give you a detention now, don't you Lupin?"

Remus' eyes widened. "_But it's my BIRTHDAY!_"

"Sit down, Lupin."


	20. Kazoo

**(WARNING: THIS INCLUDES THE F BOMB, BONGS, AND THE IMPLICATIONS OF THE MISUSE OF A KAZOO.)**

Mrs. Lupin was a very worrisome woman. Fortunately, she usually worried for no reason. But when she was cleaning her son Remus' room, and she found… _it _underneath his pillow, she felt as if she had a perfectly good reason. Mrs. Lupin waited until Mr. Lupin left for work, before cornering her only child in the kitchen.

"Remus, Sweetie? Can I talk to you for a moment?" Mrs. Lupin stood tensely in the door way."

"Sure, Mum. What's up?"

Mrs. Lupin took a deep breath. "Remmie, Dear… you know that I love you, right?"

"Right." Remus looked confused.

"And you know that you can tell me anything, right?"

"Yeah?"

Mrs. Lupin held back tears as she stared at her Darling son. How could he do this to her? "Remus, is there anything you need to tell me?"

A look of bamboozlement crossed over Remus' face.

"Mum, what are you talking about?"

"Follow me." She left the doorway and heard Remus' chair scrape back as he stood up and followed his mother to his bedroom. When they reached it, Mrs. Lupin sat down on Remus' bed and gestured for him to join her. "Remus, I found a _bong_ in here."

"… What?"

"A _bong_ Remus! A bong! You're going to become addicted, and throw away your life! How could you bring a bong into our house? A _bong_!"

"But I don't own a bong…" Remus frowned slightly. "Can you show it to me?"

Mrs. Lupin sighed, and went left to retrieve the bong from where she had placed it in her room. When she came back, she handed it to Remus. He stared at it.

"Mum… that's a fucking _kazoo_." He started to play it. "_See_? It's a musical instrument! Not a _fucking bong_!"

"Oh." Mrs. Lupin was in such a state of shock that she forgot to scold Remus for his cussing. "Remus?"

Remus sighed. "_What_, Mum?"

"Why did you have a kazoo under your pillow?"

"…" *facepalm*

**This happened to me last week. No, the kazoo was not used for anything other than annoying my little brother with. It was under my pillow, cause that is the LAST place he would look.**


	21. Wasabi

Wasabi

"Go ahead… I DARE you…" James smirked at Remus, who gulped as he stared down at the green blob of spicy evil.

"Honestly, James? I'd rather not."

"Pansy."

"I am _not_ a Pansy!" Remus snapped. "I just don't want a hole burned right through my tongue."

"Oh, _come on_ Moony!" James whined. "I'll give you five galleons-"

"_Five Galleons_?" Aloud voice exclaimed, and a second later the Wasabi was missing from the plate and was in the mouth of one Sirius Black. "This isn't so bad." Sirius' voice was muffled because of the mouthful of green paste. "The flavor _is_ a bit _lacking_ thou-"

_**Ten Minutes Later**_

"Hey Pads! Come out already!"

"Are you still crying?"

"Can I see your tongue?"

"That was the _stupidest_ thing you have ever done! _Including_ the time you called yourself a doughnut…."

**Be sure to check out my newest fic 'Best Friends!**


	22. Doughnut

Peter _hated_ riding in the same compartment as them… traveling with Sirius and James was always a pain. They argued, and made messes, and listened to much too loud music. Which they were arguing about now.

"Sirius, you're a Dodo."

"_Yay_! I'm a _doughnut_!"


	23. Perfect in Every Way

**So this one isn't exactly mine… it's **SoSlytherin111910**'s****. This means that I will now start taking suggestions. Please enjoy!**

Peter sighed forlornly, and stared at the broom, which absolutely _refused_ to go 'up'. "I'm sooo bad at Quidditch." He mumbled to Remus who was the only other person still on the ground. "That's, like, my only flaw, you know…"

"Remus raised his eyebrow. "Really?" He said doubtfully. "Your _only _one?"

Peter nodded. "Yup. I'm perfect in every other way."

"Hmm..." Remus stared at Peter for a few more seconds, and then walked away, shaking his head slowly.


	24. Insane

Sirius scowled at his cigarette lighter as he struggled to flick it on. The cigarette was growing soggy between his lips, and he just knew that soon Peter and Remus would start looking for him soon. And James... He wasn't so sure about James.

The lighter finally produced a tiny orange flame and the cigarette was lit. Sirius inhaled deeply, and started to hack. He held the smelly cigarette away from his face so that the smoke wouldn't sting his eyes and attempted to catch his breath. When he could finally breath again, Sirius brought the cigarette back to his mouth and started to suck in the smoke, holding back the coughs till his eyes started to water.

Soon, all that was left of the cigarette was an ashy stump. Sirius flicked it into the Black Lake and brought out a new one. Lighting it, Sirius overheard snatches of the conversation behind him.

"…Crazy… Going to die of cancer… Disgusting habit…"

"…Utterly insane… What is he thinking…"

Sirius smirked slightly to himself. Maybe he was insane… It would prove all of those rumors going around about him correct. And what was so bad about being insane anyways? And of course he wasn't thinking. If he was thinking then he would probably just start thinking about James and throw himself into this bloody lake. No. He wasn't thinking. Thinking hurt too much.


	25. Mistake

"_Hey… can I talk to you for a moment?_

"_Sure… Pads are you okay? You look terrible."_

"_I- I'm fine… just nervous I guess."_

"_You? Nervous? What the hell does _the _overly confident Sirius Black have to be nervous about?"_

"_This."_

"…"

"…"

"…"

"_You did this to me you know… you made me like guys too… you were the first guy I liked. At first it was just a brotherly thing I guess… and then I started wanting to kiss you… and hold you… and love you… Emmet was just a distraction you know… A distraction from you, cause I know you wouldn't like me back… but I'm tired of holding it in. We're best friends. We need to be honest with each other. I cant watch you walking around in your underwear without crying because I know that I can never touch your body… well, not as your lover. And I want to. So much…"_

"_Sirius, don't. I'm _straigh_t."_

"… _yeah, I know."_

Kissing James Potter was the biggest mistake of Sirius Black's life.


	26. Cuddle

"Sirius?"

"What do you want?"

"James told me what happened."

"Oh?"

"Yeah… he's worried about you, you know."

"Why should he be? It's not like I'm about to kill myself or anything."

"Really? Because you look like you're about to jump in the lake and drown yourself."

"Well, I'm _not_ so you can just fuck off, alright Moony?"

"There's no need to snap, you know…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Go away."

"No."

"I'll pay you…"

"I don't need your money Sirius."

"Yes you do. You need to go buy yourself some nice clothes so that you can stop walking around looking like your mother dresses you… and then you need to buy some makeup cause you have some monster bags underneath your eyes, and that zit looks bloody painful and-"

"You need a cuddle."

"Sorry."

"It's okay to cry. Don't apologize."

"I hate men… all the men I've dated dumped me… or turned me down. That's why I will never date one as long as I live. Only women for me, thank you very much."

"Sirius?"

"What?"

"You'll find someone soon."

"Promise?"

"Yeah… I promise."


	27. I Can Deal

Sirius stood awkwardly in the doorway. "… hi, James."

"_Oh_!" James jumped slightly and peered at Sirius in a mixture of embarrassment and confusion. "Sirius… you- you're all wet."

"Yeah." Sirius shrugged. "I was outside. It's raining out."

"Ah."

"… I ruined our friendship, didn't I?" Sirius hung his head and refused to let the tears fall. Crying would show James how much he hurt him…

James took in the devastated look on Sirius' face and hurried over to his friend. Wrapping him in a hug, James hesitatingly pressed a kiss to Sirius' forehead. "You're my best friend… and I love you. Not the way that you want, but like a brother…"

"Is there really no chance of… us?" Sirius whispered, afraid of the answer.

James sighed. "Sirius… I'm _straight_. I always have been and I always will be… you _know_ how I feel about Evans."

"I know… I just want you so much."

"And you'll have me. Just not as a lover. You'll have me as a brother, but not as a lover… can you deal with that?"

Sirius was sorely tempted to say no… but if he said that, then James wouldn't want to be his friend at all. And that would just kill him. "Yeah, I can deal with that…"


	28. Baby Brother

Sirius Black was an extremely exited four year old… today was the day that he would _finally_ be able to meet his new baby brother or sister… he hoped that it was a girl. Sirius wanted someone younger and weaker then him to protect… he wanted to be the _best_ big brother _ever_!

"Sirius, come to the fireplace… your mother is on the floo."

Sirius scampered over. "Mummy!"

"Hello Sirius, darling…" Walburga smiled tiredly at her son.

"Did you have the baby yet?"

"Yes, I did. I can't wait for you to meet your new-"

"Sister? Is it a girl, Mummy? Please tell me that it's a girl!"

"Well-"

"Because if it's a boy, I don't want you to bring him home."

Orion Black chose this moment to interrupt. "So, Sirius… are you ready to meet your new baby brother?

"… b- brother?"

"Sirius, what's the matt-"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

**This was my reaction when I found out I got a brother… **

**I think that this works with the Black family. I'm sure that they loved Sirius… and still do. I think pride and the quest for their opinion of the 'greater good' got the best of them, and they were willing to do anything for it.**


	29. Wunderbar

Remus Lupin and James Potter had a lot more in common then most people thought. For instance they both enjoyed taking walks and taking pictures of the scenery. One day, Remus and James decided to walk together and bring binoculars.

"Das ist _wundershun_!" Remus gushed looking through his binoculars. Then he showed James.

"Ja! _Wundershun_…"

"Es ist _kunst_!"

"Kunst…"

Peter and Sirius chose this moment to walk up to the two awestruck teenagers. "Um… why are you two speaking in German?"

"Deutch ist _wunderbar_!"

"Ja… _wunderbar_!"


	30. Cold, Wet, and Miserable

**N'EEAAnnnnGH! **

**SORRY THAT THIS IS SO LATE! MY APOLOGIES!**

The Marauders and Lily had decided to go camping together right after graduation. It had seemed like a _very_ good idea at the time, but the weather proved otherwise. Rain pounded down on the two tents in the clearing, and all was quiet except for the pitter-pattering sound of raindrops on the fabric of the tents. Suddenly a piercing and _very _unmanly shriek wrenched through the air. Evidently a spider had found its way into the Marauders tent.

If one looked inside the Marauder's tent, they would see pure chaos n the form of four teenage boys acting like arachnophobic three year old girls. One of the boys, who was chubbier than his friends, was attempting to squash the spider with one of the other boys steel toed boots. The owner of said boot was practically strangling the chubby boy and whipping his long hair back and forth, begging the chubby boy to kill the poor innocent spider who had _no_ idea what the hell was going on. A third boy with dark blonde hair and a skinny frame was nearly hysterical and sobbing. He was soggy all his books were soaking wet, and now there was a _spider_ on his sleeping bag. He _hated_ spiders… they were worse than being soggy. The fourth boy, who had wildly messy hair, was probably the most calm… the reason being that he had fallen unconscious after being hit on the head with the metal part of the steel toed boot.

None of the boys heard the angry squelching of boots outside their tent, or saw the madly bobbing _lumos_ until the zipper was yanked down, the three conscious Marauders all screamed when they saw the furious face of Lily Evans glaring down at them.

"It is _two in the morning_, my _tent_ is _flooded_, and _all_ of my things are _soaking wet_. And just when I thought things couldn't get any worse, I hear you three _squealing_ like immature little _infants_! Now… I am _cold…_ I am _wet_… and I am _MISERABLE_!" The Marauders cowered underneath Lily's livid glare. "I am going _back_ to my soggy pathetic little tent now, and I'd _better_ not hear _one more __peep_ out of _any_ of you for the rest of the night!" And with a final scowl, Lily stormed back out into the rain.

Needless to say, the boys decided that Lily was _much_ more frightening than an itty-bitty spider.

**This happened on my All High School Camping Trip.**

**Peter- Me**

**Remus- Friend # 1**

**James- Friend # 2**

**Sirius- Friend # 3**

**Lily- My English Teacher**


	31. Peacock

**This happened to my wonderful Beta **Blood Everlasting **not one hour ago. XD**

Sirius lounged at his new home, (which just so happened to be in a trailer park) He couldn't quite afford an actual _house_ yet, or a flat, but he would make do with what he had. Sirius actually quite liked his home. It was better than his Parent's house anyway. It was in the middle of this quaint little trailer park called 'Swan Lake, but despite the name, there were never any swans. But for some God awful reason there was an over-abundance of Canadian Geese and Peacocks. One day, while sitting out side and drinking a bottle of Butterbeer, Sirius glanced up, for no apparent reason, and saw a peacock (which is the male, peahens are the females) running around like he was Snivillus and a giant bar of soap was chasing it and he was trying desperately to get away from it; bolting around a group of females like, "Sup, ladiieeees? ...Oh, GAWD IT BURNS! GYAAAAAAAAA!" thus more running.

Sirius watched , a confused frown on his face and his jaw slightly agape, as the peacock ran out of view. All of a sudden,

A muggle movie playing in one of the trailers started up and all Sirius could hear was the 'Speed Racer' theme song. He snorted the Butterbeer up his nose, and started laugh so hard that he started crying.


	32. Of Rolls and Potatoes

Being third years, the Marauders were all quite new to Hogsmeade. On the first Village visit James and Peter were wandering around Main Street when they passed a newsstand. Peering at one of the magazines James frowned slightly. "Is that a potato?"

Peter sighed. "James, that's a roll."

**Again, this is not a moment in MY life…. But a moment in the life of **xxBlaineXKurtxx


	33. Alien Invasion

Storm clouds billowed out from behind the trees if the Forbidden Forest. They looked absolutely _terrifying_. They were big, almost black, blocked out the Sun and looked as if they were about to fall out of the Sky and squish Hogwarts as flat as the delicious pancakes that were served at breakfast time. The Marauders stared up at these Evil Looking clouds and wondered what they meant.

"Well, It _could _be an Alien Invasion…."

"Nah. I think it's more like the end of the World as we know it."

"Maybe Heaven's in that Cloud…"

_Sigh…_ "You guys are being absurd. It _obviously_ the beginning of the Apocalypse."


	34. Fish

Remus made a face as he held up a fish. The Marauders were in their Potions Class and their assignment was to make a Cooling Salve for mild burns. "I hate fish…" Remus muttered as he dropped the slimy creature into his cauldron. "They smell like dead things."

"Well these fish _are_ dead…" James said brightly. "Besides, fish are really interesting! Did you know that they have taste buds all over their bodies?"

Peter looked up sharply. "I WANT TO BE A FISH!"


	35. GOD

"Look at that cloud!"

"I see it!"

"Look at the shape…"

"What do you think it looks like?"

"It looks like _**GOD**_!"

**i took a picture of the God cloud... if anyone want's to see it, tell me! XD**


	36. Pancakes

"Moony Moony ba-Baboony, Fee Fie Fa Foony... Moony! Prongs Prongs ba-Bongs thee thy tha Thongs... Prongs! Lily Lily Bo-Billy Fee Fi Fa Filly-"

"Finish that song Black, and I will squash you as flat as a pancake. Wait... A crepe. Crepe's are flatter than pancakes...pancakes are fluffy...


	37. Widdle Piggy

WARNING: CUSSING

Remus was laying barefoot on the couch closest to the fire in the Gryffindor common room. It was freezing outside and the fire was nice and toasty.

"Moony!" James Potter pranced over, plopped down at Remus' feet and grabbed his toes. "This widdle piggy went to the market, this widdle piggy stayed home, this widdle piggy had roast beef, this widdle piggy had none! And THIS widdle piggy-"

Remus glared at James. "That widdle piggy will FUCK YOU UP!"


	38. Cereal pt1

Sirius and Remus were in the great hall one morning, eating breakfast. Remus was reading a particularly good article on the mating habits of Welsh Bowtruckles, and Sirius was chowing down on a bowl of dry cereal.

"Is cereal magnetic?"

Remus gave Sirius an odd look over the top of his article. "No...I'm pretty sure that cereal is _not_ magnetic. Why?"

"Because they are sticking to my spoon."


End file.
